Monkeys Will Rule The World With Robots
Want to know what’s scarier than a hoard of robots coming to tear your fragile flesh from your brittle bones? A robot that’s controlled by a monkey brain. Now this is something I never thought I’d have to face, but this is the 21st century age of science fiction madness come to life, so I shouldn’t be too surprised.
Japanese researchers with the Japan Science and Technology Agency, along with scientists at Duke University, wired up a monkey with electrodes and taught it to control a humanoid robot halfway across the globe in Japan. From Scientific American:
“We can read signals from cortical areas…the motor and sensory areas of the brain that are involved in the generation of the motor program to walk,” says Duke neuroscientist Miguel A. L. Nicolelis. “And we are able to read these signals, decode them, and send them to a device…a bipedal robot that actually starts walking like a monkey.”
Haha! He seems so pleased with himself, doesn’t he? It’s all so simple, really, reading signals from the cortical areas and making a robot walk like a monkey. And that’s just exactly what we need: more robots that walk like monkeys because THEY ARE BEING CONTROLLED BY A MONKEY WITH ITS BRAIN! Really, listen to yourself once in a while and the crazy talk that’s coming out of your mouth.
Well, the genie is out of the bottle now. Pretty soon some open source geeks are going to come out with their own software to allow robots to be controlled by monkeys, cats, dogs, and whatever other animals you happen to have around. And then we’ll have a veritable robot zoo, all these mindless machines running rampant through the streets smashing everything in sight.
Have fun with that.
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